i hate to say this but i just had the best meal of my life and it was ceviche at a mexican restaurant called “mas margaritas” in cedar rapids, iowa
literally after every single bite i was internally like “holy SHIT this is divine” but i had to keep it inside bc i would lose all credibility with my family if i let them know this ceviche from mas margaritas (restaurant in cedar rapids, IA) was better than any mexican cuisine i’ve ever had in LA or uh. mexico. and you know when people say that a food is better than sex. it was like that but it was like when i was in middle school and repressing my sexuality and had to pretend i wasn’t turned on when my friends played gay chicken at sleepovers and slowly moved their hands up my thigh asking “are you scared? are you scared?” get this to 10k and i’ll post it on yelp
im really trying not to be mean because this is a harmless thing to do and looks like it takes skills but im so so so baffled at the twitter artist who shrinks real people to have gnomelike proportions
theyve succeeded in making an artistic niche and have a lot of followers so im really happy for them but what am i looking at? there’s a lot of better call saul ones
i always give a lazy two finger salute when cars stop for me at a crosswalk and it’s devolved so much that at this point I feel like an icon of jesus whenever I cross the street
car: stops for me at a crosswalk
me:
oh blessed art thou automobile for you have served the meek and humble. go on your way knowing your act of kindness has saved me 2 minutes on my trip to the bodega
i corrupted the image file but the cat is almost 100% in tact and has that smug fucking grin like “haha fuckr cant do shit” fuck you cat fuck you fucking grey cat piece of shit cat
absolutely nothing will top the video game experience of being SHIT at a video game but all the npcs you come into contact with are in awe of you for being the most amazing and talented person they’ve ever met
the seven year old daughter of some npc i’m helping out: PAPA! YOU MUST COME MEET THE HERO WHO SAVED MY LIFE!
me, dropping a grenade on the ground accidentally and immediately blowing myself up:
Pokemon is almost always the opposite of this. I’ll have 6 gods in my party and won the championship a half dozen times and some snot nosed kid with one diglet will still be like, “you think you can beat me?”
